PokerNations Social Network For Poker Players

Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 - 4 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

I canceled my trip to Vegas and the WSOP this year when I was offered a position - indoors, air-conditioned - with the U.S. Census. I was confident this opportunity would not come about again for, I'm just guessing here, at least ten years. I took the bird in the hand.

Playing the Seniors MTT and living not-so-large, I estimated a week in Sin City could possibly result in a minus $3,000 result. (I am old and happily married.) alt

Working for the Census, I am about plus $4,000. Seems like a $7K swing to me. I type this blog on my new 8GB computer, reading the words on my new 23-inch monitor. I glance to my right to view my new big screen TV. Tomorrow I might clean with my new Dyson vacuum, which is so good my wall-to-wall carpet is a different color. I am guessing, the original color.

No bracelet, no WSOP memories. But new friends. And an amazing sense of renewal.

One of my new friends is a poker player. A live poker player who wants me to join him at the local casino. I'm so there.

(I'll let you know how it goes. I expect it will go well. I am spooky lucky, as Ted Forrest once said. And, if I'm not, I choose to believe I am. You know, spooky lucky.)

But, I find most interesting my new friend's opinions about poker.

He doesn't play online because of gnarly bad beats.

Here's an anecdote. "I tell my wife, when I have AA vs. a pair of threes, you watch, he'll hit a three. And a three hits. GG me. Or soon thereafter he'll need a club and I'll tell my wife, watch this, watch, a club will hit on the river. And, of course, there's a club and I lose."

My new friend believes - at least suspects - online poker is not legit. Then there's the Absolute/Ultimate Bet cheating scandal. Which is nothing, if not proof. alt

I like this guy. He's a good guy, a nice man. I did not argue. I have been there. Many, many beginners go down that road. The Road of Bad Beats. But to be successful as a poker player, you must take a different path. The path less traveled. The path of a confident winner.

I prefer to predict the cards I need to win rather than the cards that will cause me to lose. Trust me. Try it. Your bankroll will grow. At the very least, you'll feel much better about the game.

Something else. My new friend doesn't play cash games, because he fears collusion. I did not argue. Collusion happens live, just as Russ Hamilton happens on-line. alt

My new friend only plays live tournaments or low stakes home games. At his own house.

He trusts no other poker venues.

As I am sitting there, listening to my new friend, I can't help thinking how difficult it is to play winning poker when you are afraid. I can't help thinking how difficult it must to be afraid to leave the house or take a chance, a risk, a gamble. Of course, most accidents happen at home.

I also can't help thinking how difficult life can be when you are afraid. Remember: life is a metaphor for poker.

A Healthy Player Is A Better Player

Posted: Sunday, July 11, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

I am convinced many of the keys to being a winning poker player have nothing to do with cards or tells or luck or strategy. Adopt some of the suggestions from Lisah at Getting To Zen and watch your bankroll grow. - JDW

What does it mean to live a healthy lifestyle? It is a way of living that allows you to enjoy more aspects of your life in a more fulfilling way. It is not just about trying to avoid one illness after another, or trying to just not feel as bad as you normally do. It is about feeling and being well physically, mentally and socially. It is about making specific choices that give you the opportunity to feel your best for as long as you can. Living a healthy lifestyle is about saying YES to life. alt

Three Essential Ways to Live Healthy

Do you want to have a body that can support you well into your old age? Do you wish to have mental clarity, quality relationships, good working internal functions, or even an overall feeling of well being? Well, living a healthy lifestyle is what can get you there, or at least improve your condition. There are three specific things that you should do:

1. Exercise

You shouldn’t be surprised that this one is on the list. It is unavoidable. Physical activity is essential to healthy living. The body was meant to move, and when it does not, it can become unhappy and ill. Physical activity stimulates the body’s natural maintenance and repair systems that keep it going. It improves circulation to our heart and lungs. It gives us strength to stave off injuries, and it increases the mobility in our muscles and joints. Physical activity also releases endorphins; the feel good hormones that create a sense of general well being. Physical activity is good for the body and the mind.

Exercises include brisk walking, cycling, dancing, swimming, rowing, elliptical workouts and jogging. Yoga, and pilates are also good exercise workouts; however, they should be performed in conjunction with the cardiovascular-type workouts mentioned above.

2. Eating healthy

Have you ever heard of the saying “you are what you eat” or “garbage in garbage out”? Well, it is true. What you put into your body directly affects how you feel physically, your mood, your mental clarity, your internal workings, and even your skin. Eating healthy does not mean eating expensive foods with little taste. As a matter of fact, there are some fantastic health recipes online and in cookbooks that are very healthy. Basically, you want to aim for a diet that is low in salt, fat and unprocessed foods and is high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and omega-3 fatty acids. It is also good to take a multi vitamin to ensure you are meeting your nutrient requirements.

3. Reduce stress

We have got to get rid of all of this stress. Stress happens when your life becomes out of balance physically, mentally or emotionally. This imbalance can be caused by internal stress like worrying too much, environmental stress like pressure from work, family or friends, or by stress from being fatigued or overworked. Being stressed out has the potential to affect your health in a variety of ways. You can become tired, sick, tense, irritable, and unable to think clearly. If you want to live a healthy lifestyle, you will need to manage the stress in your life so that it does not overtake you. This means taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, tasks, and environment to get your body back in balance.

Action Items

Here are some specific action items for living a healthy lifestyle:

Use the food pyramid as a guide to how much of what to eat
Eat less processed foods
Reduce your sugar intake
Grill, boil, or bake foods rather than frying them
Reduce the amount of meat you eat
Eat a lot of fresh locally produced vegetables and fruits
Avoid adding salt to your meals after they have been cooked
Regulate your portion sizes (a portion is about the size of your fist)
Reduce your alcohol consumption
Reduce caffeine consumption
Don’t eat foods that have a lifetime warranty (unless we have some sort of disaster and you have been storing them in your basement for just that case)
Stop smoking
Laugh a lot
Exercise at a moderate intensity, for at least a half an hour three to five times per week.
Find ways to eliminate stress (meditate, exercise, guided imagery, music)
Give to others with no strings attached
Smile at strangers
Learn to say no
Avoid people who put their stress on you
Take control of your life
Always say please and thank you

Reality Is Not Always What It Seems

Posted: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Decades ago, I had the opportunity to sit with a teacher named Patrick O'Hara of The Growing Place. What he had to say made a lot of sense then...makes even more sense to me today.

People are very much alike, even if no two are quite the same. "We are very, very simple, but we're very subtle.... we are each all mankind as much as one drop of seawater is the ocean."

Patrick believed we can be our own teachers. "You must understand you are literally the creator of yourself. Thought directs energy. Start to think of yourself as an energy pattern."

And then start to increase the beneficial energy in your life, while you decrease the negative.

You start by doing nothing.

"The first cause of all things is being still," Patrick pointed out. In other words, get a grip. He suggested meditation. I know, I know.

To be honest, I suggest a long shower or a long walk. You have to be able to see what you're looking at, so you can act, instead of react.

The stillness, achieved daily, will present you with the opportunity to see what you've become.

And to see how your life might be transformed when you accept the responsibility of creating it.

Patrick O'Hara had apparently spent countless hours in contemplation and thought he had some answers. He shared some with me, and so I will share some here.

You will have to provide your own questions.

You have to give up to gain.

You cannot have an emotional feeling without a physical reaction.

When you love, you make yourself whole.

Your power is in your softness, and your softness is in knowing who you are.

It's not enough to say "There's got to be something better." You have to follow up with "And I want it."

The way to make change is by example.

Forget what you want to get away from. Take aim at where you want to be and go for that. Keep moving. Keep your goal out there in front of you.

Reality is never the way it seems to be.

Finding a spotless clean restroom on a cross-country drive is a spiritual experience.

Man's only problem is the refusal to accept his own greatness with humility.

If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, things will work out. Believe this.

You don't have the slightest idea what you can do. So, why lack self-confidence?

You must see life the way it is, so you can laugh your way through it.

It's the space between the notes that makes the piece.

What you believe is what you create.

You have to let go in order to get somewhere new. You have to make the cycle linear.

If it's no fun, you're not doing it right. alt

- JDW

K9 Is A Trouble Hand.

Posted: Monday, June 21, 2010 - 7 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

I took my 150-pound Caucasian Ovcharka to the vet's yesterday. For his annual physical. He is an amazing creature.

My dog, not the vet.

Draws a crowd, a regular canine celebrity wherever he goes.

WIFE AND POMERANIAN ACTUAL SIZE.

We are asked to wait in a small examining room. So, we waited.

Two young women came in, both wearing smocks covered with cartoons of cuddly little animals . Both women about the same size as Hagrid. Maybe smaller.

Without much preamble, one put her arms around him and hugged him securely.

There's a sign in every vet's office: For Your Safety, Let Our Staff Restrain Your Animal.

For my safety? Ha! That always gives me a chuckle. I can't restrain this animal and he loves me.

Why do you think strangers can get it done?

Anyway, I held his huge head, just in case. I have measured his teeth, in excess of 3/4th of an inch long.

The other woman stuck a needle in the big dog's leg.

No problem, except no blood came out. So, she got another needle.

Problem. If you are going to stick Hagrid, let's just say, you are not going to get a lot of chances.

Hagrid has a very low "Don't Mess With Me" quotient.

Exit quickly the two young women, frightened by the deep, ominous growling.

Like rumbling thunder, heavy on the bass.

Enter the vet and his senior aide.

I have a room full of chemicals, the vet tells me.

A dart gun from the doorway would be my suggestion, I offer.

I come to this particular professional because he understands large dogs; he owns large dogs himself.

He begins by speaking confidently and calmly to Hagrid.

He has a dominant personality, especially with strangers, the vet explains. Both me and my dog, I note.

The doctor decided on local anesthesia, delicately administered. Some sleight of hand was involved.

And then there was no problem.

Well, there was the bill.

Moral Of The Story?

Understand the problem before you attack it.

When you do atttack the problem, use the right team with the right tools.

Oh, and it's better if you do it right the first time.

I Read The News Today. Oh, Boy.

Posted: Thursday, June 17, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

First, I read the sports section. Talking about top performers, football coach Skip Holtz said this: "From my standpoint, it's knowing what it takes to get to that level. It's not all about talent. The ones that make it at that level are the ones that have talent, that have character and work habits and what it takes to get there.

"If you have talent, you're a flash-in-the-pan success. To be able to have the stability and longevity is all about the morals and work habits and the values, what it takes to be the type of person, student and player that you want to be."

Which got me thinking.

Then, I came across an article in the business section entitled 'Stretch Your Workers' by Joyce E.A. Russell. Which got me thinking about how to improve my poker business.

Poker players are their own workers, their own employees. It is imperative they learn to manage themselves. So, what is your role as manager?

If you manage people, Ms. Russell tells us, your primary goal is to keep your employees engaged and productive. Obviously, an engaged poker player will be more productive. The goal then is to keep your employee - yourself - more engaged. How? You become more engaged by finding opportunities to develop your talents more fully.

Ms. Russell suggests creating development opportunities to push employees out of their comfort level. These 'stretch' assignments require employees - that means you - to learn new skills. The significant challenges become motivators leading to personal development. The path is basically exploration, followed by discovery, then growth. Rinse and repeat.

So, what is your role as a manager?

ASSESS ASSIGNMENTS. You begin by assessing the degree of challenge offered by your current assignment. If you have become bored alt

with NLH, perhaps it is time to explore PLO. If you are currently playing two tables, you can try playing four. If you are playing four tables, perhaps you could play just one table at 3x the stakes. The key is to examine your situation and think about how your game today is contributing to your personal development. Is it? In today's increasingly difficult poker environment, if most of us can merely maintain our current level of success, we're not doing too badly. But we're not doing nearly as well as we might.

OPEN DOORS. Once you know where you are, go somewhere new. But visit there briefly. Take a trip to another scene. Heck, try a different site or.... Whatever, but challenge yourself.

Do something - for a short time - which makes you uncomfortable. Rush Poker might be just what you need in small doses. Maybe cash games with deuce-seven. Look for the complex, then solve that puzzle.

GIVE FEEDBACK. Having stretched yourself, measure the results. Measure quantitatively and qualitatively. Measure not only your wins and losses but also how you felt as you tried to reach a new level. An excellent tool is writing. Writing is difficult for many of us, but it is exactly the difficulties which allow the greatest opportunity for growth. Put your thoughts down and you enhance your understanding.

NURTURE LEARNING. Sweat some players you respect. Read another poker book. Study a non-poker book which can help your game. (Thick Face, Black Heart by Chin-Ning Chu is currently sitting next to my recliner.) Join a poker training web site.

MAKE IT INTERESTING. Give yourself a prize. Reward yourself for the effort. In truth, you want the jouney to be its own reward, but we all enjoy grabbing the brass ring.

MENTORING. Avoid isolation. Find somebody you can talk to. About poker. About life. After all, life is a metaphor for poker. And the better person you are, the better poker player you will be.

"Not all individuals learn equally well from challenging assignments," Russell notes, "and some resist or avoid new opportunities." But it is those who seek out developmental feedback and those who are motivated by chances to build competence who will grow and succeed.

To improve, it is not enough to change your game, you must change the way you approach the game. Come at it from a different angle and you will get a new perspective. And a new perspective is another edge. alt

Keep Your Cup Half Full.

Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

I like to think - quietly - of myself as a swing coach. And I don't mean golf. So, I study about my game away from the table. (The following contains words and ideas from Jarrod at Optimistic Journey.)

We all look at the cup as half empty from time to time. There may be occasions when you dwell on what is going against you, rather than focus on what you have going for you.

What truly matters is that we combat that temptation to focus on the negative, so that we can continue along the journey with the goal in mind.

You have the power to take control of those emotions that cause you to get discouraged. You can combat discouragement by the choices you make.

What motivates and inspires you? What have you found that has been proven to uplift and empower you?

Make a decision to avoid that which discourages you. Instead, dwell on those things that motivate and empower you. Take charge of those emotions within you.

Whenever you feel a sense of discouragement, that is the time to exercise the things that encourage you.

You are empowered and equipped to take on bigger and better things. But life is like a game of chess, you can’t conquer the enemy’s king if you’re focusing on the fact they just took your pawn. No, you have to stick to the game plan and focus on that which inspires you.

Alleviate discouragement. Focus on that which encourages you. Notice a sense of empowerment you feel today as you charge forth on your journey of life!

Remember, life is a metaphor for poker. Every game, every hand. - JDW

Advice To A Young Poker Pro

Posted: Monday, May 17, 2010 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Just sent the following e-mail to a friend. Seemed like wise advice. Nothing new, nothing earth-shattering, nothing I haven't done in the past. But certainly thinking about which I am happy to be reminded.

* * *

Saw this and thought of you. Saw this and thought of myself....

1. Write down what’s most important to you – Make a list of what’s important in your life, with the most important being on top and the least important being on the bottom. It doesn’t matter how long the list but keep in mind, the shorter the list, the more defining it will be.

2. Decipher what it will take to bring order back to your life – After you have made your list, brainstorm on ways to make it become a reality. It may not be as easy as one-two-three. It may end up being something you have to sleep on or seek counsel about.

But this is something worth doing for yourself.

3. Take action – Taking action is one of the more, if not the most, important steps out of the three. It’s easy to talk the talk but you have to walk the walk. Just like the scripture says, faith without works is death. Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves, dip into some elbow grease, and break a little sweat.

You may find that life is much easier, once you set your priorities in line. You may notice a load off your shoulders when defining them.

No one can define your priorities but you. What comes first for one person will be completely different for the next. So, be true to yourself and discover what is most important to you and only you and notice a change for the better, as you charge forth on your journey of life. alt

At Home Discipline Is Key To Success

Posted: Tuesday, May 11, 2010 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

I have retired from retirement. And I am not happy about it. I have many more dollars now but much less time. I am "old" and the bills are paid. So, every day the bankroll grows. I am reminded just how much more important is time. You can always get more money. But when you lose time - hello, yeah! - it's gone.
Of course, for the online poker grinder, time is part of the bankroll.
How long am I playing? How many tables? What is my profit per hour? My ROI?

I offer some thoughts to build your happiness bankroll.

Set work hours. Control your effort. And you have more control over the results.

Close the door. When you are playing/working, isolate yourself. Sounds harsh, but we are talking about focus. Your time will be more efficient and your results more productive.

Allow set breaks. Schedule your rest. Define the respite. You will win more, when you define your relaxation. Relaxation will make you stronger, and therefore more dangerous.

Use flexibility as your ally. You are in charge, not the game. Seize the day.

Create a trigger for winding down. You have to quit sometime - make quitting time your choice. When you sit down at the table, pick a sit-up time. Of course, you can change your plan. But hink about it. Then think about it again.

Control the game.. don't let it control you. In the end, you'll have more money, if you're in charge.

We All Count!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

These are the times in which a genius would wish to live.

It is not in the still calm of life that great characters are formed.

The habits of a vigorous mind are formed contending with difficulties. - Abigail Adams

So, a friend calls me and says, "I need your help."

"Sure," I tell him. "No problem. What's up?"

Seems he'd taken a job as Manager Of Field Operations for the U.S. Census.

"I'm the MOFO," he says.

I say, "You got that right."

So, I am working seven days a week. Some days more than eight hours a day.

I am retired. I don't need a job. I don't want a job. Don't like jobs.

A job - to me - means I do something I don't want to do at a time I don't want to do it with people I don't want to be with... somewhere I don't want to be.

Jobs suck.

Interestingly, these people are kinda fun to be with. Still... don't want to do it.

What I want to do is stay home and play poker.

I haven't played poker in a couple of weeks now. Not sure this is bad for me.

I can probably use a break.

My idea is that this is free money, extra money.

Of course, the bad news is I am getting paid the same wage I earned in 1970.

Only without the benefits.

On weekends we get time-and-a-half. So, on those days, I am earning what I made in 1980.

The work is brainless. I am literally pushing paper.

I tried to do my Zen consciousness MINDFUL paper pushing, but then I went to the MP3 player. I spend the day listening to action/adventure novels. Today I was listening to I, Sniper by Stephen Hunter. Last week, it was Gone Tomorrow by Lee Child. I recommend both.

But, truth be told, these authors make me feel like I should be kicking ass at every opportunity.

And the opportunities are legion.

Last night - I am not making this up - the shift leader made us drop what we were doing to read a emergency e-mail from the main office.

Apparently, there's a big problem.

And we should keep doing what we were doing. alt

The MOFO comes by and asks, "So, how's it going?"

I tell him the truth. He knew I would. It's what I do.

"If these people were on fire, I wouldn't piss on the flames," I tell him.

I knew we were in trouble the first day.

When I saw the schedule.

They don't know how much work there is to do.

They don't know how many people we have to do the work.

They don't know how fast the work can be done.

They do have a schedule.

And we do know when the work has to be finished.

Then they announce the computers will be down. For hours. For days even.

The government has been doing this since 1790...they have had ten years to prepare and they act like the Census is a surprise.

I have seen better organized birthday parties for four-year-olds at Chuck E. Cheese.

Here's my thinking. I am going to use this money to go to Vegas for the WSOP. I am available for fun and parties and mentoring and fun and parties.

This is why I am helping to count 300,000,000 Americans.

Because... Not since Gen. Custer engaged a number of hostile natives at the Little Big Horn has a government project moved forward so seamlessly.

The Old Prospector & The Young Gunslinger

Posted: Monday, April 19, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas, leading an old, tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey, old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds,too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

Never be arrogant.

Don't waste ammunition.

Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

Don't mess with old men - they didn't get old by being stupid.

The Power Of Persistence

Posted: Thursday, April 15, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Malcom Gladwell in his excellent book Outliers - the younger you are, the sooner you should read it - talks about how successful people are typically much more tenacious and persistent. Failure is an option, quitting isn't.

The following piece by Jarrod Clark tells much the same story.

“Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” – Louis D. Brandeis

One of my all time favorite inventors of all time is Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb. We can’t help but marvel at Edison’s drive, persistence, and determination because it was reported that he had about nine-thousand (9,000) failed attempts alt at inventing the light bulb.

What really moves me about Edison is that in spite of the way it seemed, he was determined alt to achieve what he sought after. I could imagine that during the attempt to create the light bulb, he had naysayers around him urging him to give up, urging him that it’s impossible and pointless. But Edison’s persistence is an example that motivates us today.

Edison changed the world because had he given up, we probably wouldn’t have the luxury of light in the world we live in today. Most people have a hard time trying 9 times, much less nine-thousand times at something. Most would give up after the first sign of failure. Some will give up at the first word of discouragement from their peers. Are you among this number?

What really inspires us about Edison’s persistence is that after asked how it felt to have had nine-thousand failed attempts at creating the light bulb, he said, “it felt great, for every time, I learned a way NOT to create the light bulb.”

Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, only to achieve the same results?

Edison didn’t fall into stagnation, he thought outside of the box. We can learn from Edison’s magnificence, for he’s living proof that it is possible to do what the world said is impossible.

You can achieve the impossible. ... Find what drives and motivates you and stick to it until you achieve success. Whether you have 9 failed attempts, 900 or 9,000 failed attempts, it doesn’t matter as long as you stay persistent.

It’s not easy. No one said it would be. Don’t be moved by the way things look while on the journey to success. It’s not about how many failures you get but the successes that matter. Just like the saying goes most things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done. Prove the naysayers wrong and achieve what they said you can’t do. Keep your vision in mind as you charge forth on your journey of life.

An Elderly Couple Delights In An Afternoon Nap.

Posted: Friday, April 9, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

The wife

pried the old man

from his recliner and

led him

toward the bed. alt

Sooner

than might be expected,

the room filled

with the sound

of heavy breathing. alt

It was the dog....

Kissing My Father Goodbye.

Posted: Sunday, April 4, 2010 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Pain was its own teacher, and there wasn't any way to learn how it worked but to be visited. If the visits weren't right on top of each other - if they were far enough apart so you could forget the way it came but close enough to remember it went away - you could learn to ride it out. - Pete Dexter, Deadwood.

My father sobs.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."

The old man cries, as Pastor Bob recites the Twenty-third Psalm.

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadth me beside still waters."

Dad's head waters every time Pastor Bob prays. Tears gush over porcelain cheeks that glisten.

"He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

Dad soaks his pillow case. I can't bear to see him cry.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

My head bowed, I am uncomfortable holding Pastor Bob's hand. Don't even know the man.

"Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over."

Mother's face trickles. A single, slender crystal tear torn loose, slowly traces fifty years' troth across a suddenly lonely landscape, looking very much like the rest of her days. And nights.

"Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."

I don't listen. I can't cry. Wish I could scream. I pray instead: Please, Lord. Please don't let this guy sing Amazing Grace.

"And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I scream.

It could be worse. Following the quadruple bypass, Dad's complexion has taken on a waxy angelic tone.

Following the strokes, he's finally showing a sense of humor. Actually much funnier than before he went out of his mind. The brain specialist said the enhanced wit was a not uncommon result of "a right hemisphere event."

For example, Dad sat up, out of a deep sleep, looked around vacantly, and shouted, "Too much hocus-pocus! Not enough magic!!" Fell back, snoring again before his head even settled onto the pillow.

Footsteps pattered hurriedly down the hallway.

A single-file parade of white uniforms filled the white room. Surrounded the white bed. Hovering white.

Dad sat up again, looked around the crowd...slowly... his eyes narrowing in focus. "Yuppie entrepreneurs!!!," he yelled, falling back on his pillow.

More snoring.

And, most importantly, none of his maladies are hereditary.

One day he disinherited me.

"You can't do that. I'm your only surviving child," I reminded him. "I'm Junior, your first born."

He got all serious, Robert Mitchum in a gangster movie. "I'm leaving everything to my church."

"You don't have a church."

That cut him short. His eyes glazed over like an icy interstate highway. He drifted off, staring into the distance. Lost.

I went looking for him. Jabbed right where he lives.

"You mean to tell me, I don't get your valuable paperweight collection, one from every state, where you turn it over, shake it upside down, then turn it rightside up and chalky flakes fall on some cheesy liquid plastic scene that's supposed to remind you of some long-forgotten joy ride or best forgotten family vacation!?" I bellowed myself breathless, like I actually cared.

So even a dead man could hear.

"No snow globes!?!?!?!?!?"

No answer. Perhaps, I thought, worried now, I should hold a mirror to his mouth. Then I saw his chest move up and down. Ever so slowly.

He's in there somewhere.

Then a wheeze.

"How about your coin collection? All those bright, shiny silver dollars in the thick navy blue folders. That's gotta be worth a fortune."

"They're worth plenty. You can just forget my coins."

Finally, it was time to go.

Mother asked Dad if it was okay to kiss him goodbye.

"No," he says.

I saw she was hurt. I tried to lighten the mood.

"How about me?," I asked, noisily pursing my lips into a grotesque, fishy O-shape.

"You least of all," he growled.

The old man wasn't going to get away from me so easily. Not this time. With more wires coming out of him than a home entertainment center, he's far less elusive than he once was.

There was nothing else for my dad to do but kiss me on the lips.

"No tongues," I warned.

I kissed my Dad on the lips. Surprised him.

Saying goodbye this last time, we simply puckered up and planted smooches directly upon one another's grizzly face like it was normal.

Like John Wayne and Humphrey Bogart swapped spit all the time, too.

"Can't imagine life without your father," Mom sighed.

"Try," I told her. She looked at me like I had said something insane.

I told my Mom I like kissing my Dad.

"Me, too," she said, perking up noticeably. "You know, he's only told me twice in fifty years that he loves me. And I had to coerce him both times."

Followed by a vaporous sigh. "Three times, counting right before this last surgery."

"Four times," I told her. "He said it right before your last surgery, but you weren't awake to hear."

Mom had brought their wedding portrait trying to goose Dad's memory. They got married, it was the Christmas weekend, not so many months after the end of WWII, the second war to end all wars.

Both of them look eager.

It's a black and white photograph. A busty virgin, she was young and looked younger, full of promise. She's wearing a fuzzy suit. Her right breast is covered with a floral corsage. Atop her head sits a fancy bonnet, looking just like a flattened hot water bottle.

He was the dashing sergeant on a three-day furlough, a decade her senior, with a full head of dark hair, slicked straight back. Dad's in his dress uniform. His left chest festooned with military decorations.

Fifty years later, they were still holding hands as they strolled along the beach, watching the sunset.

We had always just assumed he was immortal.

I can't stop thinking. Every time I look at him, I see myself in thirty years.

So, I go next door, to the family waiting room, where a murder trial is playing on the television. A woman, about my age, is on the phone.

Turns out she is comparison shopping for cremations. Apparently, prices have skyrocketed in the last two years since she made arrangements for her late stepmother.

Now, her father's got two days to live and she's got a sales meeting coming up. You wouldn't believe the price difference from one crematory to another.

Her last call is to her own doctor's office. She needs to renew her valium prescription before the weekend. Just in case.

Next day. I can't help thinking I am too young, much too young still, to be holding my mother's hand at a time like this.

I am holding Mother's hand, as we watch Dad, tubes everywhere, try to remember his own name.

"It's the same name as mine," I tell him, raising my voice.

He doesn't hear so well with his good ear and he's part deaf in the other. Mother left his hearing aids at home because, as she said, more than lives can get lost at the hospital.

"The same name as mine," I repeated.

Dad gave Mother, tears everywhere, this thousand-yard stare. Like hollow-cheeked Jews outside Nazi showers.

He looked right through me.

"And who are you?," he asked.

The 45 Benefits Of Optimism

Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Sometimes I feel like the world attempts to pummel me with negativity. On a daily basis. I refuse to succumb. I work at being happy. I work at it. And one of the key elements in successful struggle is my optimism. - JDW

This material comes from Ayo Olaniyan of Discovering Purpose.

The BBC website published a report Optimistic women ‘live longer’. This was based on a research carried out by a group of US scientists who studied 100,000 women to deduce pessimists had higher blood pressure and cholesterol; optimistic women had a 9% lower risk of developing heart disease and a 14% lower risk of dying from any cause after more than eight years of follow-up. [I'm guessing the numbers might be better for men! - JDW]

The subject of optimism affects every individual going/living through life’s struggles each day. There have been various studies carried out on optimism and while I have a few reservations on extreme optimism, one can’t deny the role optimism plays in enhancing your personal growth.

What is optimism?

Optimism is looking at a more favorable side of events and simply anticipating the best possible outcome in any situation.

Sir Winston Churchill states ‘A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.’ What do you see?

It’s also important to note that there are elements of hope expressed in optimism.

Rick Snyder states ‘hope is a process of goal-directed thoughts that reflects both the belief that one can find pathways to the goal and has motivation based on one’s perceived capabilities or thinking.’

In no particular order, here are 45 benefits of optimism:

It gives you a reason for living.
It reduces the level of stress experienced.
Research shows that it increases longevity.
It enables you to handle and put your emotions in check.
It promotes happiness.
It promotes self respect and integrity
It enhances various coping skills developed in order to combat life’s struggles.
It forges persistence which is an essential trait required for achieving success.
It creates a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
It promotes healthy living.
It creates a positive anticipation of the future.
It increases your level of productivity.
It allows you to deal with failure constructively.
It allows you to develop the attribute of patience.
It makes you proactive.
It improves your physiological and psychological well being.
It enables you to take a balanced approach to life by dealing with the constant negative thoughts which spring up.
It increases the likelihood of effective problem solving.
It gives you peace of mind.
It enables you to generate an alternative, more hopeful explanation for various difficulties experienced.
It ensures you believe in your dream.
It creates a positive attitude.
It increases your tolerance levels because it lowers the risk of you being irritated by little things.
It allows you to develop the habit of being thankful.
It increases your level of motivation.
It builds successful careers by promoting productivity.
It promotes laughter.
It doesn’t give any room for self denial.
It welcomes any form of constructive change.
It creates positive expectations.
It sets your mood for the day.
It promotes positive relationships.
It builds resilience in the face of adversity.
It promotes self confidence and boosts self esteem.
It ensures you are focused.
It promotes bonding between individuals.
It reduces the level of your frustrations and worries.
It promotes forgiveness.
It enhances effective communication.
It increases your spiritual development and awakening.
It deals with your limiting beliefs which try to keep you from using your abilities.
It gives room for self expression.
It increases your mental flexibility.
It is therapeutic.
It improves your social life.

There are several ways optimism can be developed. They are as follows:

Have realistic goals and expectations.
Always remember you are human with a lot of imperfections.
Acknowledge past events, but endeavor to manage the present with a view to creating a brighter future.
Don’t fall into the trap of feeling hopeless.
Be true to yourself.
Network with people who show optimism in their daily lives.
Believe in your dreams.

Once again, the aim of this post is to remind you of the benefits of optimism.

(You have a choice. I choose optimism. - JDW)

Yet Another World Class Secret

Posted: Wednesday, March 24, 2010 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

Champions Are Driven By Emotional Motivators

“When a performer begins to experience physical or emotional pain in the heat of the battle, the brain, whose primary role is self preservation, asks the question: ‘Why must I suffer?’ The champion will answer the question with the vision they have carefully constructed, and they will continue to fight. Since the masses lack this mental clarity and have no reason to suffer, they quit as soon as the pain kicks in. Developing a world-class vision is the secret to world-class motivation.” – Steve Siebold

The masses are primarily motivated by extrinsic motivators, such as material possessions and money. The world class is motivated intrinsically, by their dreams, desires and passions. External motivation is short lived, while internal motivation is nearly impossible to exhaust until the goal is achieved. The rah-rah, jump-up-and-down motivational pep talks are fun and temporarily motivating, yet lack the real fire emotional motivators generate. World-class leaders know the secret to motivating themselves and others is discovering what they will fight for when the going gets tough. The great ones move from logic-based motivators to emotion-based motivators. They know the key to finding the true power of the individual lies in the deep recesses of the psyche. The process great leaders and coaches use is tedious, time consuming, and simple: ask questions, and don’t stop until you have landed on the emotional hot buttons. World-class coaches keep digging until they hit the vein of gold – when the performer begins answering in terms of how they feel, as opposed to what they think. When they hit the vein of gold, they continue to probe until the performer reaches an emotional high point, known in performance circles as the white moment. The white moment is the strongest emotional driver of a performer. Coaches use emotional drivers to motivate and inspire performers to push far beyond their threshold of pain, to accomplish feats that, without this level of motivation, would be impossible.

Action Step for Today: Ask these five critical thinking questions:
1) What am I willing to fight for?
2) What values do I hold dearest to my heart?
3) What values would I be willing to die for?
4) If I could achieve a single thing, what would make
all my hard work worth the struggle?
5) If I had thirty seconds left to live, what would I tell
my children are the three most important things I learned about how to live a happy life?

Your answers will tell you a lot about what drives you emotionally.

World-Class Resource: Read Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman, Ph.D.

The above - once again - by Steve Siebold. If we study the greats and apply ourselves, we might surprise ourselves. We will surely surprise others, particularly our opponents. - JDW

Understanding Derivatives

Posted: Monday, March 22, 2010 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

We've all heard that "derivatives" caused the financial system meltdown, but few understand what they are.
Read this and you'll fully understand them, and the concept of "too big to fail."

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit . She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed in a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit .

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic Vice President at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets, and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DrinkBonds, AlkiBonds and PukeBonds. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi.

Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations, she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and the eleven employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DrinkBonds, AlkiBonds and PukeBonds drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various bond securities. They find they are now faced with not only having to write off her bad debt but also with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, and her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant, lays off 150 workers, and converts their full output to "Bud Light."

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar, no-strings-attached cash infusion from their cronies in Government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Heidi's bar.

So the drinkers are screwed, Heidi is screwed, her suppliers are screwed, her neighbors are screwed -- but the banks that caused the whole mess (and are now "too big to fail") are bailed out by the ever-more-screwed taxpayers. alt

Now do you understand how it all works? - Unknown Author....

One More Secret Of The World Class

Posted: Thursday, March 18, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

One more from Steve Siebold....

The Great Ones Separate Truth From Fact

“We have to live today by what truth we can get today and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood.”

– William James,
1842-1910, author
While average performers tend to believe truth and fact are the same, the world class knows there is a difference. Champions use their critical thinking skills to make a clear distinction between truth and fact. Fact is reality. Truth is our perception of reality, and perceptions are subjective. One person perceives giving to charity as an expense, while another perceives it as an investment in someone else’s life. The fact is that many people give to charity; whether it’s an expense or an investment is a perception. Which line of thinking represents truth? Both. In the minds of individuals, perception equals truth. This subtle distinction allows the great ones to understand themselves and others at a higher level of awareness. The masses tend to operate from truth, which is often a distorted version of facts. Champions make decisions based on facts, not feelings. The world class also uses this understanding of truth and fact in their mental programming. The great ones know the conscious mind functions most effectively on fact, while the subconscious can be programmed with truth. Since the subconscious is unable to make the distinction between fact and truth, champions program their subconscious minds to believe their visions, dreams and ideas as truths. Because the subconscious doesn’t have the ability to reject an idea, it accepts it as truth and begins to create behaviors that are congruent with this new “truth.” The conscious mind knows this “truth” is not fact, and tension begins to build between the conscious and subconscious, creating cognitive dissonance. As a result, the two go to work to create congruency. The great ones are not only aware of the difference between truth and fact, but they also know how to use them both to get what they want.

Action Step for Today: Write down 10 things you know are fact, and rethink each by asking, “Is this really a fact, or a truth I’ve created from my own or others’ perceptions?” For example: is it a fact that the sky is blue? Is it a fact that you are a nice person? Is it a fact that the faithful will be rewarded in heaven? You’ll see how often we operate from truth, rather than fact.

And I'm Taking The Dog With Me.

Posted: Monday, March 15, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

"I'm moving out."

Lucinda greeted him with those words

as he walked into their apartment.

It was early

and he hadn't done anything wrong yet that day.

Must've been the last four years.

"I guess this means I shouldn't have

had your name tattooed on my left buttock."

"You didn't."

"You're right. I didn't."

Barker put his bag down and collapsed into his favorite chair.

The dark leather one she had never liked.

"Would it have made any difference?"

"No. None at all."

He didn't know what else to say.

She just stood there.

"I need a beer. You want one?"

She shook her head. No....

The next weekend

a buddy came over to smoke a few bowls.

The buddy looked around the half empty apartment.

"She really left, huh?"

"Oh, yeah."

"At least she let you keep your chair. That was nice of her."

Silence.

"Are you lonely?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. I really miss her."

"She's one helluva a woman, that's for sure."

"No, not her. I really miss that wierd, little dog,"

Another Secret Of The World Class

Posted: Friday, March 12, 2010 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

The following comes from Steve Siebold...

Champions Have An Immense Capacity For Sustained Concentration

“Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets.” – Nido Qubein, speaker, author, philanthropist

Champions are famous for concentrating their energy and efforts on what they want and blocking out anything or anyone who threatens that focus. While average people haphazardly pursue loosely defined goals, champions concentrate on the attainment of a singular purpose with an intensity that borders on obsession. World-class performers invest an inordinate amount of time and energy in selecting their major goals. While the masses consider making changes every New Year’s Eve, the goal setting and planning process is an everyday habit of champions. When the goals are set, champions put mental blinders on and move forward with dogged persistence and ferocious tenacity.

World-class performers create such an intense level of concentration to overcome challenges and achieve goals that it is the last thing they think about before they fall asleep, and the first thing that hits them when they wake up. The great ones dream about their goals so frequently that they often keep pen and paper on the nightstand so they can quickly record any ideas or solutions that come to them in the middle of the night. While average people see world-class performers’ successes as a matter of intelligence or luck, champions know sustained concentration of thought and action is usually the true key to their success.

Action Step for Today: Write down the single most important goal you want to achieve in the next twelve months and make a commitment to concentrate on achieving it – no matter what it takes. alt

World-Class Resource: Read Focal Point, by Brian Tracy. This book is required reading for all Mental Toughness University clients in corporate America.

A Secret Of The World Class

Posted: Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Category: Other

This from Steve Siebold.

The World Class Operates From Objective Reality

“Amateur performers operate from delusion, pros operate from objective reality. The great ones’ habits, actions, and behaviors are totally congruent with the size and scope of their ultimate vision. That’s why we call them champions.”

– Steve Siebold

In 20 years of competing, coaching and working with performers from various fields, I’ve discovered most amateurs suffer from mild to severe delusion in relation to their efforts and competencies. In other words, most people delude themselves into thinking they are working harder then they are, and that they are more competent than they actually are. Of the five major levels of conscious awareness, (poverty, working, middle, upper, and world) my experience has been that performers at the middle-class levels of consciousness suffer the grandest delusions. The poverty level is barely surviving and living in a very harsh set of circumstances. The working class is punching a mental time clock and counting the days until retirement. They’re usually not expecting much, and no one around them expects much, either. They are typically not concerned about climbing any higher. It’s the middle class that is most incongruent with reality. They are operating at a high enough level to understand that higher levels exist. Although they don’t expect to get there, the thought crosses their minds from time to time. Because of their low expectations, their actions are incongruent with their desires. In other words, they want to live the life of the world class, but are unwilling to pay the price. Since this reality is too harsh to bear, they delude themselves into thinking they are doing everything in their power to get ahead. Of course, they’re not. They’ll tell you they’re putting in far more time than they are. They’ll swear they are thinking about their vision all the time, but they’re not. The world class is brutally honest with themselves, and they tend to look reality in the face. They err on the side of over-practicing and over-preparing. Champions know that, to ascend to the top, you must first be operating from a mindset of objective reality. Self-deception and delusion have no place in the professional performer’s consciousness.

Action Step for Today: Make a commitment to check delusion at the door. Be honest and ask this critical thinking question: “Are my habits, actions and behaviors congruent with the vision I have for my life?”

World-Class Resource: Get a copy of Leadership and Self-Deception, by The Arbinger Institute. This book made me reexamine my entire belief system. It’s a must-have for your mental toughness library.

More secrets to follow. - JDW

JACK WELCH

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